What is it with those stupid sayings people use at work?

Maybe it's just me.
But I can not stand those stupid phrases the bosses at my office use to "illustrate" how important something is that they need.

The two phrases that annoy me to no end:

#1 "I need this yesterday"
I'm thinking how utterly impossible this is.

#2 " you should put forth 110% effort"
Again, utterly impossible! And what are you trying to say? Are you telling me my 100%effort isnt good enough?

I guess I'm just aggravated about the small "fires" that pop up and fall on my shoulders with the same sense of urgency that it was passed on to my boss.
Why couldn't he pass it to me when he FIRST got it? Don't throw it at me when it's almost OBE. (Overcome by Events)