Parking Lot Lovin': X-tasee-5

Maybe you'll read 1,000 of these confessions, but none of them are like mine. My name is "Mr. MILF Slayer." (pun intended) I'm an intern at a Fortune 500 company, fairly new to the mix. Between all the "yes sirs" and "yes ma'ams" I bring people coffee and suffer paper cut after eye watering paper cut from Monday through Friday from 9 until they send me home.

Well one day, I was bending over at the water cooler when I felt this hand squeeze my ass or whatever. I looked up and saw this curvy blonde piece of candy walking up the aisle and into the corner office. But there was a lot of people walking around so I didn't know if it was her for sure, -until it was time for me to leave. I got onto the elevator and just before it closed, an umbrella stuck in-between the doors. And when the doors opened, it was her, the Chief Financial Officer, pulling her luggage on wheels behind her. She was more than twice my age, but her body was so tight, as was her face. She was my boss's boss, but she turned me on. I had to loosen my tie to relieve some of the heat that was rising.

"So you're new here," she said to me. I nodded yes and smiled. I couldn't say shit to her. What was I to say to the person that practically signed my checks?

"So are you in a rush," she asked me. "I really need some help getting this heavy bag into my car. Would you mind?"

How could I say no?

I extended my open hand in a silent gesture for her to pass her luggage over to me. When she placed the cool metal of the suitcase handle into my hand, our palms touched, making me pause for a second to look at her fingers. Smooth, skin, nicely manicured nails. I began to wonder how that hand would feel on other parts of my anatomy, that unfortunately at the moment happened to be covered by a pair of slacks. "What am I thinking," I scolded myself. I know this woman couldn't be interested in me. She was just looking for a "joe" to carry her shit. I straightened up and we both waited in silence as the elevator reached the Garage level of our building.

"This way," Miss CFO said, pointing toward the back of the lot. My eyes followed in the direction she was pointing and I made out a silver BMW X5 that was parked slightly over the divider line, making it impossible for a car to park next to hers. The opposite side was closest to the wall. I could take this two ways. I decided to test my thoughts by making a statement. Her answer would tell me how to make the most of what was seeming more and more like an opportunity to slay this full grown kitty. I said, "People usually park over the line for one of two reasons; either they are cautious and park this way to protect their ride from scratches and dings..."

She grinned slightly and raised an eyebrow before asking, "What's the other reason?" I took my time before answering. She used her keyless entry device to pop the trunk. When she looked at me, I made sure I looked her straight in the eyes before answering, "Or, they want privacy."

She was silent, but her sideways smile spoke for her. I hoisted her bag into the back of the car and slammed the trunk. She opened the driver side door and placed her purse on the passenger seat. I'm not sure if she did this on purpose, but when she put her bag in the car, she bent all the way over before slowly rising back to turn and face me. In doing so, I got a good look at her sexy legs and firm ass. I could feel myself getting a hard on, so I stood with my arms crossed in front of me, fig leaf game proper!

She glanced down, and before I could say anything she reached down and took my hands into hers all the while keeping her eyes on my crotch. I was embarrassed as hell. But then, she looked me in the eyes, removed one hand from our weird handshake, and placed her free hand on my jank! I started to protest, but all I could do was close my eyes. Just the way she grabbed me, I could tell she knew what she was doing. She guided us in a Waltz, jank in hand to the back door. And with one spin, her back was to the door, she reached for the handle then swung the door open.

She grabbed at my shirt and whipped me around. The momentum practically lifted me off the ground and fully onto the backseat. She crawled on top of me, using the heel of her stiletto to close the door behind us and began to place surgically rendered kisses all over my neck. And once she laid her solid body on top of mine, sliding her pelvic area up my piece, there was no turning back. She reached into a compartment and pulled out an Ultra Thin condom that I knew was too small. She bit down on the wrapper and ripped it open. Everything was moving so fast that my button and zipper were down before I exhaled. She aggressively slid the condom on me, pulled up her skirt and placed her pointer finger across my lips.

“I shouldn’t have to tell you that not of word of this is spoken beyond this moment, but I will,” she said. “If you can take me to the top, I’ll take you to the top. And it's plain to see that your size should do the trick.”

Let’s just say that my position as an intern was short lived. I kept my mouth shut and my CFO kept her word. A year later I was pulling in $75k with bonuses. But there was a catch; part of my salary is now going towards her quarterly plastic surgery binges. So make that $35k with bonuses. This can’t be life.

Sincerely crying out for help,


Mr. Dry as a Prune