Farting in the Workplace Part Deux (finally)

You knew it was coming. Some of you even made requests for more. Not sure why the first nine tips weren't enough, but to help our fellow cubicle family members out, the gurus have been slaving away (okay not really) researching more discreet ways for you to let that clam sauce you had last night pass through your system without disturbing your cube mate at the office. Here are three ADDITIONAL ways to keep the smell (and attention) away from you when you catch a case of the bubbles:

1. Use the copier as your cover. The copy machine is extremely noisy and will mask even the loudest farts. This is also another way to employ Rule Number One of the first installment we published back in July. Only thing with the copier cover is you have to make sure you time your farts with the rhythm of the printing, or you might be found out!

2. Clean your desk/ workspace with Lysol. Lysol is your friend. Lysol isn't only good for killing 99% of germs -- it's good for masking odors. Buy one of those mini bottles and keep it in your drawer. When you need to let one rip, bust out the dusting cloth and Lysol. It works quickly too, and no one will be able to tell you just pooted unless it's noisy.

3. Get some air. Canned air can be a life saver. To break up that funky gas, pump a few blasts of canned air near your fanny as soon as you break wind. That freezing cold air will annihilate those stinky gas molecules in an instant and cool you down too, if it was a hot one. Don't forget to take the little straw thing out before using it though, or else it wont blast enough air to cover you!

Hey, we all do it, and we all have to let it out. The doctor says keeping in gas is bad for you. So follow the guide (or refer back to the first one) and we guarantee that you will be able to cut the cheese all day without fear of being sniffed out. We know you'll thank us the next time you're driving to work and you let a nasty one go, knowing that it'll only get worse as the day goes on.