Vacate from Talking about your Vacations

Must I really start off this message by saying that, “Times are Hard?!” If a person hasn’t lost their job these days, more than likely their hours have been cut or their salaries have been furloughed. And if it is not your coworker, maybe it’s their spouse that hit economic troubles. You just don’t know these days. A loss of a job could equal out to a loss of healthcare. And who’s to say that your coworker that depended on their spouses’ healthcare can afford to pick up the slack. Yet-in-still, you want to talk about your previous or future vacation to every person in your sights.

Really though, must everybody hear about how many points you’ve saved up from your trips across country and the world abroad? Must we hear about the car service that picked you up from the hotel and drop you off on white sand beaches with violinist awaiting your arrival? What if I’m broke? What if I could barely afford to get back and forth to work? Yet you are blocking off the exit to my cube so I could hear about you learning how to belly dance.

I get it. I’m supposed to be happy for you. You went off on a 14-day cruise of the Mediterranean, and you just wanted to share your experiences. Cool, I get that. But it is when you are talking about your next trip, and how your husband travels all the time; so now a 7 day trip will only be charged for 2 of those days. Wow, won’t you open up your eyes. I lost a lot of weight huh… well maybe because I’m not eating as much, because I can’t afford to! You should think about whom you are talking to… when was the last time you saw this person take a vacation? Never, right? But you are going on and on about clear waters and tropical fish.

How about this… how about you go and sit your ass down somewhere before you get cursed out by your stressed out coworker. Stop being self consumed. What, you don’t believe that talking to a person that lives in an apartment, about the next house you’re about to buy, is wrong? And you wonder why nobody wants to spend their 60 minute lunch with you. Be considerate of others…

It's 3:45pm on a Friday, LEAVE ME ALONE!

I understand, you don't want to go home for the weekend because you'll have to spend it with the family you've built. This is why you are calling just before I am out the door with 15 minutes to go, with a conversation that is bound to last for 45 minutes!

Look, I want to go home, and I will go home when the clock allows it. I could care less if your kids have Karate practice or your spouse is sick with the flu, and you don't want to deal with it. You will not keep me from leaving my office when I am allowed!

Why are you calling or stopping by this late on a Friday anyway?You know that people are getting ready to leave the office. Why didn't you finish your project this morning? Oh yea, you were yammering your mouth this morning and now you want to bother me. Hardly!!!

Here is what you should do... Stop procrastinating and get your work done early. Leave me alone. I know that I am on the clock, but you're breaking an unspoken rule, "When Friday's time is winding, don't come arriving!"

Nobody's Home, so Go Back to Yours!

You may have done this before and had no clue of it. In the workplace, there are multiple levels of associations going on. We at OHW used the “High School” metaphor a few times to show how people connect with one another at work. Your boss is the principal, while the receptionist that speaks to every person that enters the floor could be the Class President or the Varsity Cheerleading Captain (because he or she knows it all). Who are you in your office?

Well, have you ever wanted to talk to a particular person that wasn’t in their office at the moment you walked by, so not to waste a trip, you talked to the next person in the vicinity? If so, you just “second best’d” someone. You'll most likely yammer their ear off about subjects the person could care less about. And don’t think that this person doesn’t know that you are just trying to pass time until the person of your choice gets back. How do they know? You’re just busy talking to “second best” while continuously looking around for your quick escape.

Yea, you know the feeling. It’s similar to when a good friend of yours gets a significant other, then falls off the face of the earth on you; only to come back when the relationship is dead. This is how you just made “second best” feel. Yes, when you walked by that persons’ cube without acknowledging them, to see that your friend that sits next to this person isn’t at their desk, for you to suddenly acknowledge the person you just ignored, is too late of a strategy.

So if you don't want to be the black eye on morale in your workplace, say hello to everyone you make eye contact with and if the person you are looking for isn't there, go somewhere and sit down.

Guru Rant: Really? Our Christmas Tree is ugly?

Ok, so we have this tradition in our office of putting up the artificial Christmas Tree with all the trimmings. This isn't a mandatory deal for everybody, more of a show of unity between a bunch of broke people that can't afford to do a $25 Polly-Anna, or however that's spelled.

Well, one of our floor inhabitants decided that she was the Simon Cowell of Christmas Trees, yesterday. Mind you, I wasn't in the office yesterday because I am hardly working these days. But do you know that this woman that clearly doesn't have a life at home and Tiger probably would've cheated on if she was 25 years younger, had the nerve to come to our area and say that our tree looked like she did? Well she didn't say that exactly. She just said that our tree was ugly.

Are you kidding me? Is this what she calls being in the Christmas Spirit; critiquing an office tree?

Look, I beg of you, to be on the lookout for 'Lifers'. These are the people that obviously aren't getting any attention at home. Their lives revolve around their jobs and they wonder why their life at home revolves around going back to work. I just want to let you know that 'lifers' don't have sex either. If they did, they sure wouldn't be telling people that their Christmas tree is ugly.

So in closing, if you are in a marriage or a long running relationship that is failing you on a sexual level, you better work that out and fast. Because you just might be walking around the office, telling people that their tree is ugly, so to speak, and don't even know it.