Guru Rant: Stuck Up Strangers

photo courtesy of unfocusedmike

Okay OHW readers, I have a dilemma I need help with. Before I ask the question, let me lay out the goings on of this morning for you.

I arrive to work early, and park. Just as I am about to get out of the car, another car pulls in. She saw me when I first pulled in, yet she did not wait for me to get out before she slid in next to me. Instead, I had to wait for her to park her car before I could open my door and get out of mine!

Anyway, she gets out and walks by without saying anything, which was fine with me, because Im not a morning person. Don't care for early AM conversations. I thought she might at least say hello, or good morning though, just because we were getting out of our cars at the same time, right next to each other...She's about three-five steps ahead of me, and reaches our office building door. She buzzes in and does not hold the door open for me.

Im thinking, "Wow! This woman knows Im right behind her." So, we are standing waiting for the elevator, and the doors nearest me open first, so I get in first. I press my floor and she says, "Two please." I hesitate to press "2" because Im thinking, "I know this woman is not ordering me like Im the elevator operator!!!"

But I go ahead and hit her floor. As she's getting off, she says, "Have a nice day."

I'm too dumbfounded and PISSED to say anything back. Dumbfounded because her greeting surprised the hell out of me, and pissed because she didn't ask me to press the button, she commanded me to do so. As I mentioned, I didnt respond.

She gets off the elevator, turns around and mumbles something. I think it was, "Bye".

Question for you: Was I wrong to offer this chick the cold shoulder and not wish her a good morning in return?

Elevator Etiquette

Every day, every single day, I am humbled by the use of the elevator. I am quite thrilled by the snug, personal ride with total strangers that have their early morning and late day quirks that make my daily rides up and down worthwhile. (Peep the sarcasm going on, it’s melodic.)

Do you want to know what burns me up? Crammers! These are the people that believe there is enough room for them to squeeze into the small metal box. To them, one foot of space is golden and the discomfort is only temporary. To me, I am twisting and climbing over people to get out and wait for the next elevator. No, I am not claustrophobic. I am more Billyphobic and choose not to have anybody’s hind parts or fore parts forced upon me. And what if I am holding a bag full of steaming hot breakfast, just dangling at stranger-cheek level? Need I say more?

You can dodge crammers by keeping a tab on these metal box offenders. Crammers don’t just up and change their ways. They will cram every chance they get. And if not them, there might be a co-crammer on the elevator, ready and willing to say, “C’mon, there’s enough room, we can make room for you.” Damn co-crammer, you are NOT the captain of the elevator.

My suggestion is while waiting for an elevator, take a look at the pack of people walking towards you. Make a choice on which pack you’d like to spend the next few minutes with. If you are claustrophobic, I suggest you stand closest to the door as others climb on. This way, you have the freedom to get off the elevator when capacity is reached.

I beseech you, do not stand next to the floor grid during a cram job. You already don’t want to be at work in the first place. Imagine how you’ll feel when every person that walks onto the elevator “politely” asks you to press their floor number. Only Guru’s back away from the floor grid and give the person requesting their floor number to be pushed, a look that says, “Hardly!”