Are They Talking Bout Me???

Guess what happened to me at work last week? I went to use the restroom nearest my cubicle, but found that it was being cleaned by Housekeeping. I decided to go to the bathroom one floor up, which is on the same floor as my manager's office.

When I got there, I found that it was going to take longer than I thought. (Im not gonna gross you out by telling you what I had to do!!!)


Anyway, I hunker down in the stall farthest from the door. After about three minutes, I hear the main door open. I decide to take my time, because I didnt want whoever was in there to know I was the cause of the not so pleasant smell lingering in the air!



After about thirty seconds, the restroom door opens again, and I realize that before that second door opening, I hadn't heard a stall door creak, or clothes rustling. That was my first clue that something was up, so I get quiet, and pray my body doesn't betray me.



I hear greetings being exchanged and I realize it was my manager and one of my co-workers. The girl is a nosey one who sits a cube behind me, and she's always in everyone's business. Just last month I sent out an E-invitation for my annual BBQ, and this busybody read every single response! How do I know? Because she walked up behind me while I was at my desk banging away at the keyboard and made casually remarks, "I guess I'm the last to know." I don't even turn around before asking, "Last to know what?" She doesn't respond, so I'm forced to turn around to face her. She peers over her glasses and says, "I guess I'm the last to know you're dating Grant." I look at her in confusion. "Huh?" She folds her arms across her chest and sighs, "I saw what he wrote in response to your invitation. He said he was definitely coming, "BEAUTIFUL." Why would Grant call you beautiful if you guys weren't an item or something?"


It took all my strength not to strangle that meddling idiot. I took a deep breath before replying, "Just because he called me beautiful doesn't mean we are a couple. And anyway, are you saying you read EVERY reply in the list of responses?" She looks at me, and shrugs her shoulders. "Yes, I did. Is there something wrong with that?" I just turn back around to face my computer, put on my headphones and turn the volume of my iPod Nano up full blast.



SO now that I realize who is in the bathroom with my boss, I quietly draw my legs up, and lean back against the wall.

After a brief pause, Miss Busybody says in a hushed tone, "Mrs. Brown, what did you want to know about Sasha?" Mrs. Brown replies, "I'm thinking of giving her more responsibility around the office, but not sure whether she is capable of taking on a heavier workload. Since you keep a finger on the pulse of the office, and being you are so close to her, maybe you could clue me in about Sasha's work habits."



(They're talking about me! Oh wow. Maybe I should have been nicer to Nosey.)



"Mrs. Brown, I try to always mind my own affairs in the work place. You know that don't you?" (Wish I could see the look on Brown's face at that BS.) Mrs. Brown clears her throat and says, "Of course! But you do sit directly behind Sasha, so tell me what you know."


"True," Nosey says.



(At this point I'm holding my breath. What is this woman going to say about me? I barely ever talk to her. She doesn't know anything about me, or how I handle business. "Lord, why hast thou forsaken me?")



"To be honest, Sasha is very quiet. I haven't heard anything about her being a slacker or anything. As a matter of fact, I think she is pretty good to go because if she missed deadlines or rubbed people the wrong way, I would have heard about it." Mrs. Brown is silent. Then Nosey abruptly says, "I mean, not that I partake in gossip. But I really have not heard any negative things about Sasha. If anything, I would say that girl needs to be a little more social with the rest of us downstairs. But I don't know if that would be a good thing now that she is going to get a promotion and all."



(I couldn't believe my ears. Nosey actually came through for me! I almost fell off the toilet.)



"Wait a minute, don't jump the gun," Mrs. Brown says. "I am not promoting Sasha, just thinking of giving her a little more responsibility. At this point, that is all. OK?" Nosey must have nodded because I hear Mrs. Brown approaching the restroom door.



Then I hear Mrs. Brown's voice: "Thanks for chatting, dear. And please remember to keep this between us."


"No worries Mrs. Brown. You can trust me!"



The door closes and I assume it was Mrs. Brown that left. I sigh with relief. My legs are cramped and just as I'm about to stretch them out, I hear the door of the stall two doors away close and lock. Nosey makes water and says aloud, "I can't wait to tell Jaye and Robin about this! We are going to have a new boss, and a new office romance!"



I guess the heifer didn't believe me about Grant. And if she wants to spread rumors about a promotion, so be it. I can't wait to move up to this floor anyhow.

...Or Hardly Working Tip of the Day: Working with The Office Grouch

I think we've all run into this problem, as it's very common. There's always one to every office and unfortunately you may have to actually interact with this person more frequently than you'd like. In either case, I'm talking about the office grump --The "Oscar" of your cubicle block so to speak. How do you handle said party pooper whose always gushing negativity, telling you what he will or will not do, and complaining about every little thing? Below are two scenarios and a few tips to get you through your work day. Hope you find them helpful.

Mr. Grinch is late on an assignment and your boss tells you that you're responsible for collecting it:

1. Do Not Panic: Your first step is to send Mr. Meany an email as soon as you learn your mission. If he doesn't respond in a timely manner, unfortunately this means you will need to confront him. Don't be afraid. Grouches can sense fear and if he gets a whiff that you're even slightly nervous, you've lost the battle before you even pic up a weapon.

2. Approach with Moxy: Confidently approach the grump and firmly state your business.

3. Control the Convo: Before he can fix his tight lips to rebut, tell him your manager has put you in charge of this project and that you need his input as soon as possible. In fact give him a deadline. Tell him you really wish you could be more flexible, but your hands are tied.

4. Get In and Get Out: After you've told him your business and set the deadline, leave posthaste! You don't want to be around for the complaints that are bound to begin pouring out of the grump's mouth. More importantly, this doesn't give the grump a chance to hunt for any weak points in your stance.

You have to work closely with the mean girl on a new project:

1. Make like a duck: In this instance you've gotta develop a tough skin thick enough to let crap roll off of you like water off a duck's back.

2. Never respond in kind: If she's always packing attitude, not being cooperative and shooting down your ideas, just let it go. Never react and mirror her negative attitude. It doesn't help anything and may get you into trouble. Try being as diplomatic as possible. Remind her of the deadline, which may help get the ball rolling.

3. Ask to work with someone else, or on a different assignment: Hey, sometimes it's impossible to work with grouchy people. Pull your manager aside and tell him what the deal is. Make sure you have facts to back up the reason you want to switch partners, or else you'll be stuck.

4. Get to know the Grinch: That's right you read it! Maybe the Grinch is a nice guy deep down. Try to find out more about him. Does he have a family? Does he enjoy his job? What are his hobbies? You'd be surprised at what you'll find out if you take the time to learn about your co-worker!

Hope these tips start you on the path to a better relationship with the resident office Negative Nancy. And if all else fails, make sure to keep your resume updated and active on those nifty job search sites! (but that's no guarantee of escape either) If you have any tips leave them in the comment box. We'd love to hear them.

-the gurus










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Beware the Skater

Disclaimer:

We, the Gurus at ...OrHardlyWorking, are in no way advocating overachieving or shining at your job by any means! However, we do believe that you should do your own job. You don't even have to do it well, but do not pass your load onto your fellow cubies. Also, please note that we used the term, "he" in this post for the sake of convenience. You know we hate extra work, and writing "he/she" is an inconvenience. That does not mean we don't respect women. We do!

That is all.


You already hate your job. Coming to work every day is a drag. If you're a follower of this blog then we know you'll wholeheartedly agree that any additional aggravation is totally unwanted. What do we consider more aggravation? Many things can be filed under this category, but this post will focus on SKATERS.

What's is a skater, you ask? Pull up a chair young padawan, and make yourself comfortable while the OHW Gurus school you.

See, a skater is a master at passing his work off to you, while making the big boss think he is the biggest contributor to the "mission". All the while, everyone else in the trenches knows that the skater is skating. He’s really clever at what he does too. He knows all the right things to say to the manager to cover up what he really is. A perfect example would be:

Skater is tasked with producing a list of distributors for the boss to consider reaching out to for marketing purposes. You nor anyone else knows this.
One day at lunch, you are sitting with your co-workers shooting the breeze and eating, when the skater casually mentions that he is looking for some information on a particular distributor. Between bites, you say that you had a whole list of distributors that he could take a look at. However, you warn the skater that you made the list a good while back and that you would have to hunt it down.

The skater acts very grateful, and tells you that he would be happy to have it when you find it.
Fast forward an hour. You’re at your desk hitting the keyboard home row with the latest Tae Kwon Do moves when you notice the skater signaling for your attention. You look up, take one earpiece out your ear (iPod defense against the Loud Talker) and make the “What do you want” face. Skater says, “I told Jim (your boss) that you had a distributor list we could use, and he said he is very excited to see it.”

At this point, you are dumbfounded. Once you digest everything the skater said you respond, “Wait a minute. I told you I had to look for it. That list is like from two jobs ago.” Skater replies, “I know, so I guess you’d better start hunting.”

That’s it. The buck has officially been passed. See how smooth the skater is? If it had not been the skater's responsibility, he would not have mentioned it to your boss. Understand?

BEWARE, and WATCH YOUR BACK

With all that said, do not fret young scholar, for all is not lost. You can fix this one. Here's how:
When the boss and the skater are together, nonchalantly mention the list. You can say something like, "Hey Jim, Skater mentioned that you would be looking for a list of distributors from me. But as I told him, I have to search for it and may not even be able to find it at all. Is there a time you need it by?"

Boom! You're out of the fire and back in the saddle.
Now you can go back to HardlyWorking...